Baby Food

In the 80’s I had decided it was time to take charge of my life and my emotions. The struggles at home and a restructure at work, brought me a load too heavy to handle. My first therapist was a man with an attitude and perfect posture. When I saw him for the first visit the hairs on my neck stood straight up. Strike One.

I then decided to meet with a discussion group at the community college. Although it was called “Women in Transition” and had met for several months, none of the ladies showed direction, strength or humor. Even the Barbie Doll therapist had no game plan. Strike Two.

My third attempt brought me to Dr. Anne’s doorstep. She had a lovely couch and matching chair; a window to let light in; a tape that played sounds of a waterfall and a large yellow table. EUREKA! I liked her and began to speak about my broken dreams and fragile spirit.

I told her I felt like I was losing control of my life, family, my work, and friends. She listened and said to me: “What’s your baby food?” I asked her to repeat herself because in the summer months I suffer from Swimmer’s Ears. She again repeated: “What’s your baby food?” She then went on to explain that women need things in life that give them comfort and quiet time for reflection. Something that can help them relax; feel safe; take stock of the moment at hand. She could see I was at a loss for words.

Dr. Anne then shared something of herself. She told me that a bowl of mashed potatoes and a good mystery novel gave her sustenance and hope. I realized I had several things that would trigger me to become angry, distant, hurt, arrogant and shut off. She then suggested I go home and find my baby food prior to our next session.

I discovered everyday items that would help me to relax:

· A cup of hot chocolate and a piece of buttered toast
· A bowl of popcorn and the phone off the hook
· A movie good enough to make me cry, or bad enough to make me laugh
· A leisurely walk and the morning newspaper(s)
· A bubble bath and several scented candles
· A favorite CD and clean sheets

I learned to calm down; put the claws away and give thanks.

Another piece of advise from Dr. Anne was for me to look at my PC keyboard and pay attention to the magnifying glass. Take that icon into my personal life! Don’t list 8 things that went wrong today, magnify the 2 things that actually went well. Concentrate on what caused me to smile or to feel a sense of accomplishment. She told me, “Ja’Nee, change the tape in your head. You’re not the same person you were at 15 or 45.
You’ re the improved model.” Gosh, I loved that woman.

With my baby food, magnifying glass and daily meditation, I’m a new woman everyday and you can be too. Try it, you might like it.