Cancer Is Not Nice

On 9.11.10 my aunt was told she had cancer and was given 3-4 months to live and love. She battled it with humor and strength. She told family she wanted to live to see her next birthday. She saw birthday #1 on 10.1.10 and just celebrated birthday #2 10.1.11. Darlene lost her battle yesterday afternoon, October 22, 2011 at 1:13 pm. She was at home, resting in bed, surrounded by her favorite books and no doubt watching football. The Cornhuskers (GO NEBRASKA) were playing on the tube.

No more pain - no more medications - no more tests, x-rays or empty promises. I like to picture that Darlene closed her eyes and when she woke up she saw the face of God, her parents, her big sister, her loving dog Maxx and all those that went before her.

In April of this year, I wrote a letter to my Aunt and mailed it to her. Its my understanding that her caregiver "Priscilla" read it to Dar more than once. You will find the tribute below. I take peace in knowing that Darlene Janice (Dau) Rice flew to Jesus and He was there with open arms:

Aunt Dar:
I need you to know how important you have been to me over the years. You were my first female role model. Open minded, articulate, strong, and focused. Enjoying family, friends, books and travel. You knew what was right in the workplace and you made it happen. You never apologized for your emotions, or your intelligence. A secure woman who knew how important photographs were to document a legacy. Mother, majorette, teacher, bookkeeper, swimmer, and so much more.

My earliest memories are having you stay at our home on Valerio Street in Reseda. You made model houses for Robb and me out of colored construction paper and those houses were so cool. You made me a hula skirt and bikini top out of white sheets, and a gypsy Halloween costume. The skirt was adorable and the vest had a rickrack border on it. That was the best costume ever and I held onto the vest for many, many years.

When I was engaged to Dennis you invited me to Colorado and I had my first Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza. You made a sheltered girl feel grown up and oh-so-sophisticated. When I married Dennis in November of 1970 you presented me with a lovely set of pearls, where the strand had been crocheted together. When I left this first marriage you were one of the few people supportive of my decision.

When you met the second husband you were open minded and kind. When you met a third husband you held good thoughts for this marriage. You seemed never to judge me; always to love me. You made me feel special.

Let’s not forget the trip I made to see your place in Oklahoma. The guest bedroom was fabulous and you served me eggs benedict for brunch. You surprised me with the Marilyn Monroe museum exhibit and we had lunch outside at the bikers bar. We drank and then we laughed until we cried. No topic of conversation was taboo, and I loved you for that.

The topping on the cake was my trip to the Caribbean with Tamera. You showed us such a fine time with great food, wonderful wine, and a room with a killer view. Let’s not forget that time at the Ventura beach restaurant where you convinced me to eat oysters on the ½ shell and drink the juice. OMG. And the last time when we visited my folks in Simi Valley, I gave you the bedroom while I took the sofa bed. Age before beauty (ha, ha). Remember lunch at the Reagan Library?

In addition to these trips, you offered me a shoulder to lean on. You listened to my early little girl babble and in later years you heard me wail, whimper and wonder why? You always sent me a birthday card and would mail little items you picked up on your many cruises. You supported my writing efforts, and always pumped up my ego with your words of encouragement and congratulations. You taught me many lessons over the years, and made me unafraid to speak up and go for the gusto.

You will always be my favorite Aunt, no matter that your hair and eyelashes fall out or you find yourself stumbling over words or thoughts. Darlene, you are very courageous and I thank you for showing me how to be as tough as nails, and to also maintain a good heart. You are a wonderful and warm human being.

When I think of your current situation I think of the film Dances with Wolves where I see you as the female character “Stand with Fists.” You remember that and fight back until your heart tells you to rest and go Home.

All my love and with many thanks,

Your Niece Sandra Lee