Leaving on a Jet Plane

For (23) years my husband and I have taken separate vacations, and perhaps that's why our marriage has lasted more than (72) days. He goes hunting and I'm at the Doubletree Hotel having room service. He attends a Martina McBride concert and I'm at home watching The Walking Dead while devouring popcorn (and not having to share).

I never wanted to be a Stepford Wife. I prefer not to be a Siamese twin wearing a matching wedding band. I have a dog that loves to be at my side, so I don't want a husband that has a velcro strip attached to my leg.

I need space. I demand order. I enjoy writing a "Honey Do List" and do it myself. I like to read a book with Storage Wars on the TV as background noise. I like to get up early and take a peek at the rising sun. I want to run the bath water as hot as I can and soak as long as I can stand it.

I am a difficult person to live with. My husband tries hard to please me, but sometimes even his best efforts fail to satisfy me. On the other hand, he can be a bear and will actually turn up the volume on the boob tube while I'm speaking to him. His favorite catch phrases are 1. I don't need another lecture and 2. I don't need another Mother. My tune is this: Make a list and make it happen.

Fat chance.

Any old way, he's returning from his 13-day vacation tomorrow and I fly out 11/11/11 for my trip. He will be fine. He may be quite relieved. He might even be jumping for joy. All I know is I'll soon be leaving on a jet plane and say a temporary bye-bye to the obligations and expectations of marriage. When I return, we will start over new and fresh again.