Original Thoughts: Do You Juggle?
At my current weight there is little that jiggles when I walk, except maybe my arm flaps. Although I do remember that I once wore a push-up bra with a sweater dress and when I walked in my pretty high heels my boobs would jiggle... slightly. That was the closest I got to a womanly jiggle. But boy, can this lady juggle.
I throw proverbial plates in the air every day and watch them spin high above my head. I throw them over my shoulder, and under a bent knee and sometimes keep my eyes closed.
My plates have titles: Wife, writer, mother, grandma, pet parent. Friend, temporary employee, housekeeper, cook, check signer. Far away daughter, absent sister, sounding board, prayer partner, frustrated housewife. So many plates to toss in the air and so little time.
I am tired of supporting people, places and things. I want to say yes to GAD [general anxiety order] and take the prescribed medication, then be done with it. I am tired of being strong and upbeat and light and fluffy. I want to say help to the person behind me and have her/him take the load off my shoulders and the pain out of my head.
I remain unemployed - and my husband came home today to announce they cut his hours at work because "things are tight." I made the November home equity loan and realized it was coupon #45 and we need to pay the $319.39 throughout year 2011. This is in addition to our monthly mortgage payment. Thank goodness we have never been late with a payment, have great credit scores and a roof over our head. Nevertheless, It's like a big ugly snake has finally caught up to you, grabbed you by the ankle and is taking you down nice and slow.
I keep smiling. I keep praying. I keep throwing my plates into the air and catch them the best I can. But one day soon I'm afraid I'll watch them all fall to the ground and just walk away. A middle-aged Montana bad girl can only take so much.
Times are hard and emotions can't always be in check. Guess I'm human after all.
I throw proverbial plates in the air every day and watch them spin high above my head. I throw them over my shoulder, and under a bent knee and sometimes keep my eyes closed.
My plates have titles: Wife, writer, mother, grandma, pet parent. Friend, temporary employee, housekeeper, cook, check signer. Far away daughter, absent sister, sounding board, prayer partner, frustrated housewife. So many plates to toss in the air and so little time.
I am tired of supporting people, places and things. I want to say yes to GAD [general anxiety order] and take the prescribed medication, then be done with it. I am tired of being strong and upbeat and light and fluffy. I want to say help to the person behind me and have her/him take the load off my shoulders and the pain out of my head.
I remain unemployed - and my husband came home today to announce they cut his hours at work because "things are tight." I made the November home equity loan and realized it was coupon #45 and we need to pay the $319.39 throughout year 2011. This is in addition to our monthly mortgage payment. Thank goodness we have never been late with a payment, have great credit scores and a roof over our head. Nevertheless, It's like a big ugly snake has finally caught up to you, grabbed you by the ankle and is taking you down nice and slow.
I keep smiling. I keep praying. I keep throwing my plates into the air and catch them the best I can. But one day soon I'm afraid I'll watch them all fall to the ground and just walk away. A middle-aged Montana bad girl can only take so much.
Times are hard and emotions can't always be in check. Guess I'm human after all.