On November 7, 1970 I was married at the age of nineteen. I was fresh, young, hopeful, and full of joy on that day. I thought that by wearing his ring and taking his name the abuse would stop. He would know I was his, and he wouldn't slap me, push or pinch me. He wouldn't lock me in the apartment, then go for my throat when the pot roast wasn't moist or his socks weren't dry enough. He was a man that tried to control me, needed to mold me into the perfect wife that nodded yes and said very little. Well, the son-of-a-bitch got more than he bargained for. I fought back one night, and soon after, Uncle Sam sent his butt into the military and I could go back to being fresh, young, hopeful and full of joy.
Many years have passed since my wedding day at Chapel of the Canyon. There was another marriage three years later to a gentle man who happened to be a hippie. There was the birth of my only child, another divorce - but this time with dignity and respect. There was a fabulous career with big buck$ and the opportunity to bust through the glass ceiling. There were lovers of all ages and occupations. Then there were lies, and Kahlua, and pain. I got off-track and my moods went up and down like the pounds that were here one day and gone tomorrow.
So much struggle to find love and acceptance. There were times I spoke to the child within and didn't want to hear what she had to say. I forced myself to look at the difference between attention and affection. Then I had to understand why I needed them both - why I felt I had grown up with one, and not the other.
A good man came along, and a decision was made to move from CA to MT. I found work in a locked psychiatric hospital - I saw people check themselves in because of booze and drugs, or their spirit had been broken and they couldn't pull themselves out of the dark hole. How ironic that I had been one of their comrades back in the day. I now have compassion for people that are broken - but I also have a message.
Don't give up without a fight. I believe women are strong, smart, sassy, sentimental, sensual, serious and SINGING individuals. Therefore, my advice is don't let another person take your personal light. Hold onto your sanity by believing in yourself, and trust that no matter your twists and turns that God will take you where you're suppose to be.
And apparently He didn't want me married to Dennis Alan Wiley.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tom Turkey You Better Run
My first experience with turkeys was a wild one. It was ten years ago and hubby and I were visiting friends in Eureka. The men-folk were fishing and the ladies were going to shop at thrift stores in Whitefish and Kalispell. I was a passenger gawking out the window (just like a Californian viewing NW Montana for the first time) when the driver suddenly hit her brakes and backed up on US #93. Thank goodness there was no traffic in either direction. She pointed to the side of the highway at a group of wild turkeys, telling me this was a common sight. I thought the birds were magnificent – I hadn’t yet seen the bald-headed eagle, red fox or whitetail doe.
My second turkey experience was when my hunter husband asked if I’d like to scout turkeys early one Sunday morning. I thought fresh air, exercise, and quiet. I was anxious to see what the fuss was all about. I allowed him to dress me in camo and paint my face. He told me to be quiet as a mouse and step carefully through the brush. Although I looked good in camouflage clothing I was like a Mack truck in the woods. Snap, crackle, pop – I’m hungry. Snap, crackle, pop – I drank too much coffee. Snap, crackle, pop – what time is it? I did manage to see one turkey that looked as tall as a small child. I waved to the husband, pointed at the feathered creature and he took aim. I shouted WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN'T KILL HIM, and started to sob. After the bird was long gone my husband told me scouting means find the bird, shoot the bird. I told him I just can’t accept that and walked home alone.
The next year on our July 28th wedding anniversary I came home and found turkey hens and fourteen young in our garden. I was mesmerized; I was smitten; I was speechless. I wanted to know how my wonderful husband had managed this special gift? I started to name the hens Teri-Tanya-Treena and Tricia. I called “The Boys” Tim-Tom-Tucker and Tripp. The largest one I named Grandpa. I began to collect turkey memorabilia, i.e. magnets, wind chimes, Christmas ornaments. Every feather they dropped in our yard was a treasure. My husband strongly advised me not to get attached, because fall turkey season would soon open. I told him no way would I allow my boys and hens to be on someone’s serving platter. And I could not imagine them placed on a paneled wall in full feather regalia. But, of course, the toms disappeared one by one.
Fast forward a year – same time, same place. More turkeys and more youngsters. We started getting calls from friends in California asking if they could come up and hunt. I told them, “We’re going to be out of town.” My husband told them, “Sure, bring your 12-gauge shotgun and your turkey call.” The moral of this story is don’t get attached to turkeys on your property. There’s a food chain and unfortunately folks like to stuff/roast/baste and carve wild turkeys.
But come this Thanksgiving holiday I’m serving CHICKEN, and if the hubby snorts I’ll throw him a frozen Cornish game hen. As God is my witness no Happy Valley Tom will be sitting at our dinner table unless he’s on a leash and wearing a bib.
My second turkey experience was when my hunter husband asked if I’d like to scout turkeys early one Sunday morning. I thought fresh air, exercise, and quiet. I was anxious to see what the fuss was all about. I allowed him to dress me in camo and paint my face. He told me to be quiet as a mouse and step carefully through the brush. Although I looked good in camouflage clothing I was like a Mack truck in the woods. Snap, crackle, pop – I’m hungry. Snap, crackle, pop – I drank too much coffee. Snap, crackle, pop – what time is it? I did manage to see one turkey that looked as tall as a small child. I waved to the husband, pointed at the feathered creature and he took aim. I shouted WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN'T KILL HIM, and started to sob. After the bird was long gone my husband told me scouting means find the bird, shoot the bird. I told him I just can’t accept that and walked home alone.
The next year on our July 28th wedding anniversary I came home and found turkey hens and fourteen young in our garden. I was mesmerized; I was smitten; I was speechless. I wanted to know how my wonderful husband had managed this special gift? I started to name the hens Teri-Tanya-Treena and Tricia. I called “The Boys” Tim-Tom-Tucker and Tripp. The largest one I named Grandpa. I began to collect turkey memorabilia, i.e. magnets, wind chimes, Christmas ornaments. Every feather they dropped in our yard was a treasure. My husband strongly advised me not to get attached, because fall turkey season would soon open. I told him no way would I allow my boys and hens to be on someone’s serving platter. And I could not imagine them placed on a paneled wall in full feather regalia. But, of course, the toms disappeared one by one.
Fast forward a year – same time, same place. More turkeys and more youngsters. We started getting calls from friends in California asking if they could come up and hunt. I told them, “We’re going to be out of town.” My husband told them, “Sure, bring your 12-gauge shotgun and your turkey call.” The moral of this story is don’t get attached to turkeys on your property. There’s a food chain and unfortunately folks like to stuff/roast/baste and carve wild turkeys.
But come this Thanksgiving holiday I’m serving CHICKEN, and if the hubby snorts I’ll throw him a frozen Cornish game hen. As God is my witness no Happy Valley Tom will be sitting at our dinner table unless he’s on a leash and wearing a bib.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Baptism at Blankenship Road
What follows below is the script of my October 17, 2009 baptism:
Water is a symbol of humility and service. Water nurtures and sustains all living things, and yet it seeks nothing for itself – it always flows to the lowest spot. So, be like water, be humble, and nurture yourself and others.
Look at the people; look at the job, your circumstances, the family, the tribe, your home, and say, “Thank you, God, thank you for sending me these teachers.”
The concept of I Am God says, “I am eternal. I am beyond the definitions of the ego. I am beyond death.” Say to yourself several times a day: “I’m universal. I’m infinite. I am what I am. I’m immortal, here comes the sun. I’m ready.”
Try to see goodness everywhere. Notice the abundance. Notice the beauty. Move constantly to where there is serenity, where the God Force dwells, and away from discord and ugliness. -taken from The Infinite Self-
Water Baptism was instituted by God to be an essential part of our Spiritual Foundation. When we are baptised into the name of the Father we are baptised into the protection and care and fellowship of the universe as our Father. When we are baptised into the name of the Holy Spirit, we are baptised into the name, wealth, power, wisdom, and glory of God’s representation on earth. All that the Spirit has we are baptised. Being baptised in the name of our Lord is an essential part of our baptism in water.
Remember that faith is simply agreeing with God’s Word. When we come into agreement with God’s Word, He is able to work in our lives in a mighty way.
Acts 2:38: Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptised in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
Acts 8:36: Now as they went down the road, they came to some water. And the eunuch said, “See, here is water. What hinders me from being baptised?”
Acts 8:37: Then Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.”
Sandra:
Do you turn to Jesus Christ and accept him as your Savior? I do, I will.
Do you put your whole trust in His grace and love? I do, I will.
Do you promise to follow and obey Him as your Lord? I do, I will.
There is one Body and one Spirit; there is one hope in God’s call to us;
One Lord, one faith, one Baptism; One God and Father of all
The Lord be with you. Let us pray.
PRAYER:
Deliver Sandra, O Lord, from the way of sin and death
Open her heart to your grace and truth
Fill Sandra with your holy and life-giving Spirit
Keep her in the faith and communion of your holy Church
Teach Sandra to love others in the power of the Spirit
Send her into the world in witness to your love
Bring Sandra to the fullness of your peace and glory
Amen
Acts 22:16: “And now why are you waiting? Arise and be baptised, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord.”
Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Romans 6:5-6: “For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection.”
Sandra Smith-Bellissimo, I baptise you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. You are sealed by the Holy Spirit in Baptism and marked as Christ’s own forever. The peace of the Lord be always with you. Amen
THE LORD’S PRAYER
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen
Music playing was "AMAZING GRACE" and “GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN”
*Baptism Performed by Ordained Minister MaryAnn Birchfield
Water is a symbol of humility and service. Water nurtures and sustains all living things, and yet it seeks nothing for itself – it always flows to the lowest spot. So, be like water, be humble, and nurture yourself and others.
Look at the people; look at the job, your circumstances, the family, the tribe, your home, and say, “Thank you, God, thank you for sending me these teachers.”
The concept of I Am God says, “I am eternal. I am beyond the definitions of the ego. I am beyond death.” Say to yourself several times a day: “I’m universal. I’m infinite. I am what I am. I’m immortal, here comes the sun. I’m ready.”
Try to see goodness everywhere. Notice the abundance. Notice the beauty. Move constantly to where there is serenity, where the God Force dwells, and away from discord and ugliness. -taken from The Infinite Self-
Water Baptism was instituted by God to be an essential part of our Spiritual Foundation. When we are baptised into the name of the Father we are baptised into the protection and care and fellowship of the universe as our Father. When we are baptised into the name of the Holy Spirit, we are baptised into the name, wealth, power, wisdom, and glory of God’s representation on earth. All that the Spirit has we are baptised. Being baptised in the name of our Lord is an essential part of our baptism in water.
Remember that faith is simply agreeing with God’s Word. When we come into agreement with God’s Word, He is able to work in our lives in a mighty way.
Acts 2:38: Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptised in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
Acts 8:36: Now as they went down the road, they came to some water. And the eunuch said, “See, here is water. What hinders me from being baptised?”
Acts 8:37: Then Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.”
Sandra:
Do you turn to Jesus Christ and accept him as your Savior? I do, I will.
Do you put your whole trust in His grace and love? I do, I will.
Do you promise to follow and obey Him as your Lord? I do, I will.
There is one Body and one Spirit; there is one hope in God’s call to us;
One Lord, one faith, one Baptism; One God and Father of all
The Lord be with you. Let us pray.
PRAYER:
Deliver Sandra, O Lord, from the way of sin and death
Open her heart to your grace and truth
Fill Sandra with your holy and life-giving Spirit
Keep her in the faith and communion of your holy Church
Teach Sandra to love others in the power of the Spirit
Send her into the world in witness to your love
Bring Sandra to the fullness of your peace and glory
Amen
Acts 22:16: “And now why are you waiting? Arise and be baptised, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord.”
Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Romans 6:5-6: “For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection.”
Sandra Smith-Bellissimo, I baptise you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. You are sealed by the Holy Spirit in Baptism and marked as Christ’s own forever. The peace of the Lord be always with you. Amen
THE LORD’S PRAYER
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen
Music playing was "AMAZING GRACE" and “GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN”
*Baptism Performed by Ordained Minister MaryAnn Birchfield
Sunday, October 11, 2009
GOT AGENT?
Finding an agent is a job in of itself. A job that I don't have time or energy for at this point in my everyday living, but a task that I must start ASAP. Enough of the vision board, fortune cookies, prayer and fingers crossed. The hard work must begin.
Finding a reputable literary agent means a series of query letters sent via e-mail; a lot of cat and mouse game playing; we want to see your project; we can't use your manuscript. The rejection letters are horrendous and it hurts even more that an agent's assistant will send the form letter rejecting you and your blood, sweat, tears, verbs and nouns. I'm up for the task; I need a brain teaser; I want to follow the bread crumbs that will lead me to a motivated and "seasoned" agent that will believe in my book, and believe the two of us can make it happen.
I have paid two professional editors to read and revise my manuscript. I have an important book endorsement plus an e-mail list of 2,300 individuals that I can send book blurbs to. I have a successful blog; I have enlisted the help of twelve readers who loved the book and wanted to know more about Ja'Nee. I have writing creds and most importantly, I have a marketing plan.
So if you see a book agent in your neighborhood and they're looking for a new writer with a diary style kick-ass memoir, please send them in my direction.
Finding a reputable literary agent means a series of query letters sent via e-mail; a lot of cat and mouse game playing; we want to see your project; we can't use your manuscript. The rejection letters are horrendous and it hurts even more that an agent's assistant will send the form letter rejecting you and your blood, sweat, tears, verbs and nouns. I'm up for the task; I need a brain teaser; I want to follow the bread crumbs that will lead me to a motivated and "seasoned" agent that will believe in my book, and believe the two of us can make it happen.
I have paid two professional editors to read and revise my manuscript. I have an important book endorsement plus an e-mail list of 2,300 individuals that I can send book blurbs to. I have a successful blog; I have enlisted the help of twelve readers who loved the book and wanted to know more about Ja'Nee. I have writing creds and most importantly, I have a marketing plan.
So if you see a book agent in your neighborhood and they're looking for a new writer with a diary style kick-ass memoir, please send them in my direction.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Sweet Celebration
I am the first to admit I do not attend church. I do my praying alone in the privacy of my kitchen; my bedroom; my bath; or while warming up the Jeep in the morning. I believe in a God force; I believe there is a Higher Power that knows me better than anyone else. He/She knows my sins; is aware of my good intentions; listens to my prayer and confession each day; and will guide me where I need to go.
In my opinion I was born into the Lutheran faith simply because my mother was, and vaguely remember going to Sunday school. As I grew older and my interests changed (boys, drill team, drivers education, etc.) I went to church only on Easter. When I left home at the age of nineteen I dabbled in Christian Science; New Age spiritual beliefs; old time religion. I never went as far as prayer beads, but close friends will report I wear a certain angel bracelet when I find myself troubled and lost.
My father believes when you die, your body is put in the dirt and everything deteriorates from there. I was married to a man that told me the human race started as apes. I listen to some people say if there were a God they wouldn't hurt this much, times wouldn't be this tough. I believe God gives us challenges to see how we react and how much we grow and how much we believe in Him/Her. I believe we each have a "Book of Life" and no matter where we want to go, He/She and the pages in that Book, will lead us to the proper place and time.
I will be baptized on Saturday, October 17th. The event will be held outside under the beautiful Montana fall sky and I will say thank you to God, and ask that He/She guide me where I need to go. I will ask for forgiveness - for hurting friends and family in the past. I will ask that He/She forgive me for thinking unkind thoughts, for sometimes losing focus and forgetting about my God. I will give thanks for home, family, friends, health, and happiness.
I have no idea what the female minister will say. I have no idea what I will say. I know I want the sign of the cross placed on my forehead and I need to be forgiven and invited into His/Her Kingdom.
I look forward to this day, and ask that you say a little prayer for me.
In my opinion I was born into the Lutheran faith simply because my mother was, and vaguely remember going to Sunday school. As I grew older and my interests changed (boys, drill team, drivers education, etc.) I went to church only on Easter. When I left home at the age of nineteen I dabbled in Christian Science; New Age spiritual beliefs; old time religion. I never went as far as prayer beads, but close friends will report I wear a certain angel bracelet when I find myself troubled and lost.
My father believes when you die, your body is put in the dirt and everything deteriorates from there. I was married to a man that told me the human race started as apes. I listen to some people say if there were a God they wouldn't hurt this much, times wouldn't be this tough. I believe God gives us challenges to see how we react and how much we grow and how much we believe in Him/Her. I believe we each have a "Book of Life" and no matter where we want to go, He/She and the pages in that Book, will lead us to the proper place and time.
I will be baptized on Saturday, October 17th. The event will be held outside under the beautiful Montana fall sky and I will say thank you to God, and ask that He/She guide me where I need to go. I will ask for forgiveness - for hurting friends and family in the past. I will ask that He/She forgive me for thinking unkind thoughts, for sometimes losing focus and forgetting about my God. I will give thanks for home, family, friends, health, and happiness.
I have no idea what the female minister will say. I have no idea what I will say. I know I want the sign of the cross placed on my forehead and I need to be forgiven and invited into His/Her Kingdom.
I look forward to this day, and ask that you say a little prayer for me.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
She's Like A Blonde Bette Midler
My mother-in-law and her significant other are coming to visit us for Thanksgiving. This will be their 2nd trip to Whitefish and we’re tickled pink we’ll have four at the table for the holiday. Much like before, I’m eager to start my To Do List. Being of the Virgo nature, my list is alphabetical:
Accessorize the guest bedroom
Buy new shower curtain and towels
Change the sheets
Dust all the blinds in the house
Empty the hallway closet
Find a recipe for chocolate bundt cake
Go to the florist
Hide the cat
The list is now to letter “T”. My mother-in-law is not perfect, but she knows a little something about everything. She can make Christmas cookies from scratch (I buy a refrigerated roll). She makes homemade raspberry vinaigrette (I have Ranch in the bottle). She can stuff a turkey, bake a ham, and prepare skirt steak with her eyes closed. I buy pot pies (2 for $5.00 at Safeway) then toss a sparse salad. Yes, she is coming to our home and I don’t know if Happy Valley will ever be happy again. I’m taking a week off prior to their arrival to clean house, rake the leaves, and oil the furniture. I’m tired already. Our history dates back 23 years and it hasn’t always been sweetness and light.
Picture this scenario: Her son is the oldest of 4 children and the one who stepped up to the plate after her divorce. He lived at home until his late 20’s and paid rent, then along comes Ja’Nee and he’s hooked. It wasn’t pretty. Throughout the years this woman has hung up on me and I’ve done the same. During one of these conversations, I told her I would take the verbal abuse at work because I was paid to listen to customer complaints; but unless she was going to send a check I didn’t have to listen to her. Click. Like I said, it wasn’t pretty. But just 20 minutes later we would be back on the phone.
She sees a lot of herself in me: strong, passionate, assertive, spiritual, creative and forgiving. One common thread is we respect one another and love the same man. I want to state here and now that my M-I-L (aka mother-in-law) is one of my closest friends. Nevertheless, the house must shine, I need to get my teeth cleaned, and brush the cat. It’s important that she be proud of her Montana daughter-in-law.
Accessorize the guest bedroom
Buy new shower curtain and towels
Change the sheets
Dust all the blinds in the house
Empty the hallway closet
Find a recipe for chocolate bundt cake
Go to the florist
Hide the cat
The list is now to letter “T”. My mother-in-law is not perfect, but she knows a little something about everything. She can make Christmas cookies from scratch (I buy a refrigerated roll). She makes homemade raspberry vinaigrette (I have Ranch in the bottle). She can stuff a turkey, bake a ham, and prepare skirt steak with her eyes closed. I buy pot pies (2 for $5.00 at Safeway) then toss a sparse salad. Yes, she is coming to our home and I don’t know if Happy Valley will ever be happy again. I’m taking a week off prior to their arrival to clean house, rake the leaves, and oil the furniture. I’m tired already. Our history dates back 23 years and it hasn’t always been sweetness and light.
Picture this scenario: Her son is the oldest of 4 children and the one who stepped up to the plate after her divorce. He lived at home until his late 20’s and paid rent, then along comes Ja’Nee and he’s hooked. It wasn’t pretty. Throughout the years this woman has hung up on me and I’ve done the same. During one of these conversations, I told her I would take the verbal abuse at work because I was paid to listen to customer complaints; but unless she was going to send a check I didn’t have to listen to her. Click. Like I said, it wasn’t pretty. But just 20 minutes later we would be back on the phone.
She sees a lot of herself in me: strong, passionate, assertive, spiritual, creative and forgiving. One common thread is we respect one another and love the same man. I want to state here and now that my M-I-L (aka mother-in-law) is one of my closest friends. Nevertheless, the house must shine, I need to get my teeth cleaned, and brush the cat. It’s important that she be proud of her Montana daughter-in-law.
Monday, September 07, 2009
WANTED
Last week a friend of mine told me she fired her housekeeper and the first thing I thought was “Tell me it’s not so Joe.” How bad could a cleaning woman be as long as she’s armed with the right ammunition? Why shut her out of your home and force yourself to pick up tools-of-the-trade and do the work yourself? I’m thinking my friend is a fool – she’s fabulous, but a fool. I didn’t have the guts to inquire what the poor housekeeper did wrong, but knowing she could now be mine, I started to fantasize about the list I would leave for this Mary Poppins and/or Mrs. Doubtfire caricature.
She would wash my windows, shine my kitchen floor, clean and buff the wood furniture. I’d have her dust the top of the refrigerator, chase the dust bunnies under the bed, and deodorize the carpet in the guest bedroom. She would take down all the bric-a-brac in the living room, make them shiny, and put them back in the exact spot they sat before. I would have her turn the futon over, clean all the television screens in the home and shake out the rugs. She would vacuum like there was no tomorrow, rearrange the pots and pans drawer, take everything out of the pantry and line it up alphabetically. She would clean all the mirrors, put out fresh towels in both the upstairs and downstairs bath, then plump up the bedroom pillows. To be fair I would not ask her to change the cat box and take out the garbage. I’d hire a neighbor kid to do that!
In my flight of the imagination, I go to the movies and order buttered popcorn, a Mountain Dew and a giant Butterfinger. I then drive home to Whitefish and when I step inside my home it smells like Lysol, Pledge, Tide and Windex with numerous vanilla candles flickering in the living room. It smells nice – everything sparkles – everything is beautiful and new again. It’s like magic and it’s oh so wonderful. Someone else did the hard work and left everything in perfect order for me, simply because I signed a check out of the household account.
A frivolous fantasy? An illustrious illusion? None of this would happen in my everyday world. I cannot afford to employ a housekeeper in spite of the fact I work at two different professional offices. And (besides) I’m a control freak and prefer to handle everything myself. I tend to be private and reserved (ha) and would not want someone else touching “my” stuff. But what a delicious dream it was.
By the way, this same friend hired another housekeeper by the end of the day. Seems like she’s not such a fool after all.
She would wash my windows, shine my kitchen floor, clean and buff the wood furniture. I’d have her dust the top of the refrigerator, chase the dust bunnies under the bed, and deodorize the carpet in the guest bedroom. She would take down all the bric-a-brac in the living room, make them shiny, and put them back in the exact spot they sat before. I would have her turn the futon over, clean all the television screens in the home and shake out the rugs. She would vacuum like there was no tomorrow, rearrange the pots and pans drawer, take everything out of the pantry and line it up alphabetically. She would clean all the mirrors, put out fresh towels in both the upstairs and downstairs bath, then plump up the bedroom pillows. To be fair I would not ask her to change the cat box and take out the garbage. I’d hire a neighbor kid to do that!
In my flight of the imagination, I go to the movies and order buttered popcorn, a Mountain Dew and a giant Butterfinger. I then drive home to Whitefish and when I step inside my home it smells like Lysol, Pledge, Tide and Windex with numerous vanilla candles flickering in the living room. It smells nice – everything sparkles – everything is beautiful and new again. It’s like magic and it’s oh so wonderful. Someone else did the hard work and left everything in perfect order for me, simply because I signed a check out of the household account.
A frivolous fantasy? An illustrious illusion? None of this would happen in my everyday world. I cannot afford to employ a housekeeper in spite of the fact I work at two different professional offices. And (besides) I’m a control freak and prefer to handle everything myself. I tend to be private and reserved (ha) and would not want someone else touching “my” stuff. But what a delicious dream it was.
By the way, this same friend hired another housekeeper by the end of the day. Seems like she’s not such a fool after all.
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