To Reduce Stress

Many nights I'm unable to sleep with the snoring husband on one side and my loving 100 pound German shepherd snoring on the other. At first I think the tandem noise is sweet and tender and adorable. After 5-7 minutes I'm annoyed and tense and my body feels like I've just run a race.

At times like this I like to imagine I'm floating on a beautiful teal colored raft in a turquoise pool of water. I listen to the wind through the many palm trees and know that a tall margarita is waiting for me at poolside. Right about the time my nerves relax and my eyelids are getting heavy, the cat jumps on my pillow which startles the dog which wakes the husband and now all four of us are awake and frustrated.

I like to listen to the quiet. I enjoy having the boob tube turned off, the country western radio channel silent, the phone off the hook, and the computer somewhere where I can't hear e-mails arriving.

I love to sit on the deck and admire the squirrels that play grab-ass up and down the Douglas firs. I like to listen to the wild turkeys that walk down the alley. I watch the chipmunk as he grabs peanuts from the tree stump and runs into the wood shed.

I look forward to watching the primrose bushes become lush and fragrant. I'm anxious for the bleeding heart plant to burst into flower. The vegetable garden is due to be planted by Mother's day and that brings me a tremendous amount of quiet joy and relaxation.

My life is not stressful each and every day. It comes and it goes like the sun in Montana. I can handle stress 98% of the time...but its the 2% that can bring me to my knees. Although I've never worked in a circus I am the best juggler around. There's the husband and the two pets. There's the 2,000 sf home full of household chores. There are bills that never seem to end in spite of the fact the check reads PAID IN FULL yet another bill comes days later.

I try to keep the husband happy and attempt to play with the dog every night when I get home from work. I do my best to fold the laundry the same day its washed and not one week later. I remember to floss my teeth but don't always have the energy to shave my legs. I want to read a book but get lost while sorting my underwear drawer.

I'm certain there are many women who tend to be overachievers. They want everything nice and right and pretty and good. I sleep better when my life is in perfect order. I've come to the conclusion that I am driven to succeed, and I want to stop the madness. If I were on a merry-go-round I'd say, "Hey dude, stop. I want to get off."

At this point my life is not perfect, things just seem to be a little out-of-order. I want to close my eyes and wish it all away while the darling husband is snoring on one side, and my big dog is snoring on the other.

I have a lovely floral "fainting" couch in the guest room and I'm thinking that's where you'll find me later this evening. Its either that or a motel and I don't have the money.

Must close, light a candle, burn some incense, take a bath and climb into bed. I'll say a little prayer that all will be quiet this evening.