Silver Wedding Anniversary
Jim and I were married on July 28, 1990 and spent our 10-day honeymoon on Maui. It’s difficult to believe I’ve been married for 25 years, having known Jim only seven months before he proposed. We worked for the same company; he at store level as a Grocery Manager, and I as a Bakery Specialist with sixty stores to supervise on a rotating schedule. I knew him only as one of fourteen managers that I met with during the week. I also gave presentations on sales and merchandising to these same managers. I never dated the help! I was upper management with a company credit card and expense account. What would we have in common? Yes, I was at the peak of my career and my head was big. Thankfully I came back down to earth.
One afternoon his store bookkeeper approached me and said she and her husband would like to arrange a double date with Jim Bellissimo and me. I said Jim who? Long story short, we met at the Red Lobster in Santa Clarita for a nice meal, and I realized he was a good guy with a crush on me. I did not feel the same.
I told him up front that I did not want to remarry. I told him that I had a daughter, three cats, a company car, a personal car, a new mortgage and my work schedule would have me in Fresno one day and Santa Barbara the next. I spent a lot of time in my car. When not in my car, I was in Arcadia meeting with the powers-that-be. I was on a merry-go-round and not interested in dating. My job was a top priority and I was a single parent to boot.
Moving right along:
During Christmas week, year 1986, he moved his weight bench into my guest room - then his 221 pound sail fin fish from Cabo went up on the wall. After that came his gun case, his bass boat and before I knew it we had set a wedding date. Talk about a whirlwind.
All these years later I gaze at our wedding album and take note of our friends that have since divorced.
Bud (his best man) and his wife Janie split
Anthony (his brother) and his wife Shannon divorced
Harry (his body surfing buddy) and his wife Delaree kaput
Brad (his uncle) and his wife Doreen split
Steve (his drinking buddy) and his wife Ginger divorced
Mike (my daughters’ father) and his wife Pamela kaput
Those six couples are the first to come to mind. Yet, we are still together. It’s true the dynamics of our relationship has changed over the years. Not only did we move from a CA condo to a CA ranch home, but then we decided to change our lifestyle completely and move to Montana. Although he remains with the same company (Safeway/Albertsons) my position was eliminated four months before I had my twenty years locked in. Go figure.
There’s been romance and then long periods without. There’s been stress and health issues and then long periods without. Sometimes we may go days without a kiss, but one of us will leave a note near the coffee maker. It's not perfect and there are many times we want to fight and take flight either on Delta or Alaska Air - straight out of Glacier Park International Airport. But I think it says a lot for two people who really didn’t know the good, the bad, and the ugly about the other person. It takes compromise and forgiveness. It takes humor and hope. It has not been an easy journey for either of us and we’re still learning the ropes.
My message to my husband on this, our 25th wedding anniversary: You’re a good man with a generous heart. You’re a wonderful provider who never questions where the household monies go. You make dinner; you occasionally clean the cat box; you sometimes surprise me by setting up the coffee the night before. Although your favorite joke is “What does a wife and a seagull have in common? All they do is poop and squawk"… I still love you.
You saw me at Store #166 in Mission Hills; you sat in the back of the room when I gave the team meeting; you told your buddy Ray (sitting next to you) that you were going to marry me someday - - and you did.
Happy 25 years Mr. James E. Bellissimo.